Who Pays for the Wedding Bands?

The times they are a-changing, someone once said. And they are changing at a faster pace today than ever before. Paying for any aspect of a wedding, from the engagement to the day itself, was always organized along pretty well-defined lines. The man would buy the engagement ring and prose, the bride's parents would pay for the wedding and everything that goes with it, and that was about it.

Now, things are very different. Couples often contribute to their own wedding, or the groom's parents may opt to pay for one or more elements of the day. But, in amongst all this, the wedding bands can get kind of lost. Not that it's ever a last-minute thing, of course, because it isn't. But if someone asks you who should buy the wedding bands, it's a question that needs more thought than most.

Wedding Band Traditions

For a long time, each "side" would buy the wedding band for the other. That is, the bride's parents would pay for the groom's band, and the groom or his parents would pay for the bride's band. The buying of engagement rings follows a similar path today if it is decided that both will wear one. Wedding bands have always been the poor relations of engagement rings, given the lower profile and less sudden nature of their being given. But that is to underplay the importance of the wedding band.

An engagement ring is bright and bold and is often offered without warning, making the excitement levels huge. But a wedding band is actually much more important in terms of status and permanence. After all, an engagement could, in theory, be just months - or even weeks - long. Once married, a couple is, strictly speaking, no longer engaged. Once married, though, it is a commitment to a relationship that will last for a lifetime.

How Wedding Bands Have Changed

Traditionally, wedding bands for both men and women were simple, plain yellow-gold affairs. In the last twenty years, however, they have evolved. Now, engravings or even precious stones are increasingly part of the design. Matching wedding bands are also hugely popular now, as is a move towards platinum rather than yellow gold.

As a result, instead of simply needing to know a ring size and choosing your gold purity, a structured shopping trip may be required. It does remove a little of the mystique, but it is surely better to have the type of ring you want, given that you will be wearing it every day of your life together.

The Cost Of a Wedding Band

Unlike engagement rings, which, by the nature of their design and of the elements they contain, are likely to be expensive, wedding bands can cost as much or as little as you want them to. Although platinum can be expensive, gold needn't necessarily be so. Yellow gold is available at several purity levels, from 9k to 22k. The higher the number, the purer the gold, and the more expensive the ring will be. It is unusual today to see 22k wedding bands, although they were very common just a few decades ago. The reason is that 22k gold is 92% pure gold, and gold is a very soft metal.

At 22k purity, it is so soft that it is very easily scratched and can even have chunks removed without much effort. Because of this, most yellow gold bands are 18k or, more commonly, 14k. This gives the best compromise between purity and durability.

If money is tight, then a 9K ring is perfectly acceptable. But even a 14k yellow gold wedding band can be surprisingly affordable, costing under $400. If you wish to have a dual-metal gold/platinum band, then the price could reach $1000. Expect to pay around $1300 and up for a platinum wedding band. Whatever your choice, in the scheme of any wedding, the bands are actually one of the more affordable purchases in the process.

Who Pays For The Wedding Bands?

Unlike engagement rings, there has always been an element of wedding bands being a mutual purchase. For many years, traditional or not, couples have been buying each other's rings. Again, unlike engagement rings, which usually cost much more for a woman's ring than a man's, wedding bands cost slightly more for men than for women. There's no big surprise as to why this is. Men's wedding bands are usually bigger and contain more metal. More metal means a higher price, plain and simple.

Paying for each other's wedding band is also a very sweet way to start a marriage. When you present the rings to your partner on the day, is it not great to be able to do it with a ring that you have paid for yourself? "I bought this for you" isn't a trite bit of point-scoring; it's a beautiful and emotional gesture. So why shouldn't it be this way?

But, it really is your choice. There is no right or wrong way. Traditions are great, but they change. Whether by circumstance or by necessity, all our traditions evolve over time. Being able to move the change along isn't a bad thing.

Some Things To Consider

As with all rings, the more elaborate the design, the greater the restriction on resizing. Our hands change over time and may leave us with a wedding band that is too big or too small. If your ring is highly decorative, there is likely to be much less flexibility for resizing. In contrast, plain bands are quickly and easily adjusted.

If you choose to buy rings for each other, don't assume you get to choose the design. Matching rings is a wonderful idea, but it can be difficult to get a design both parties love. This is why you should both be present for the final decision. Plain bands are much easier due to their much simpler design.

Finally, enjoy your wedding bands. They are symbols of everlasting love and commitment.